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Debate Recap Number One

Debate Recap Number One

Last night was the first democratic debate and as you might expect, all of us at MPU were eagerly gathered around our televisions, savoring every political moment.

Actually, that’s not true. I was recovering from a headache, DJ actually started the night watching Thor: Ragnarok with his wife ,who was slightly displeased to be seeing Bill DeBlasio instead of Chris Hemsworth,  Greg was mainly excited to be eating debate nachos, and Kevin was savoring every political moment. But we did all gather in a group chat and talk share our thoughts with one another in real time.

While we’ll have an in-depth convo about the policy topics and candidate answers on the podcast this week, I wanted to give you all a peek into our discussion from the evening. What follows are real quotes, edited for typos and grouped according to topic, not according the the order we actually said stuff. Because trying to follow the actual threads of the chat is like chasing a litter of kittens in a room full of yarn. Rhyme and reason were nowhere to be found.

Here are the highlights of the evening according to us. Enjoy!

Tulsi Gabbard:

Rebekah (after watching Gabbard stand motionless for several segments): Are we sure Gabbard isn’t a robot who powers down until she hears her name?

DJ: No. I’m not sure

DJ (after hearing Gabbard suggest leaving Afghanistan): So…we just lose Afghanistan? Let the Taliban win? I repeat what I have said before: I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR TULSI GABBARD!

Bill DeBlasio

DJ: I would remind EVERYONE that Bill DeBlasio started the trend of interrupting and talking over everyone. Another reason why I hate him.

DJ’s Wife Ora: I want to punch him.

Greg: I agree with DJ. Fuck DeBlasio

Rebekah: I bet Ora wishes she’d gotten to see Thor instead.

On Amy Klobuchar Not Committing to Reaffirming the Obama Era Iran Deal:

DJ : The deal was bad but it’s still in place. Europe is still in that deal. The only option is to go back in. Then talk with our allies to get it extended to Iranian behavior in the region and ballistic missiles.

Rebekah: Let’s not let facts get in the way of good drama, DJ.

Candidate Hair:

Kevin: Do we really want to see Tulsi go completely grey in four years?

Rebekah: LOL Kevin. You think she’s not already completely gray and that isn’t just very good work by her colorist?

Kevin: Do we really want to see John Delaney go completely bald in four years?

DJ: Not really. But really.

Rebekah: Cory Booker doesn’t even bother dyeing his hair. Slacker.

Russia

All The Candidates: (total silence on Russia for most of the debate)

Bill DeBlasio: (mentions Russia after the question on geopolitical threats)

Rebekah: DeBlasio says what I was waiting to hear.

DJ (channeling Beto’s inner monologue): “I KNOW I FORGOT TO MENTION RUSSIA BEFORE BUT DON’T HOLD IT AGAINST ME!”

Beto O’Rourke

DJ: So he’s avoiding the question in both languages?

Kevin: A lot of Beto staffers and supporters are gonna be second-guessing their lives tonight.

Rebekah: I can’t get over how he seems to have neglected to wear make up.

Jay Inslee:

Rebekah: I’m actually liking Inslee tonight. He’d be a good Interior Secretary.

DJ: EPA – or EP (Department of Environmental Protection).

Julian Castro

Kevin(regarding Castro’s response on the border deaths topic): Piss us all off – good line.

Rebekah (after Castro demonstrated encylopedic knowledge of immigration laws): Remember when Beto said he was the only candidate from a border region and everyone was like “Um, what about Castro?” Yeah. That.

Kevin: Ok, so it’s Castro who will gain [the most] tonight.

Guns:

DJ: Why was there no discussion of white supremacy, white supremacist terrorism, and potential Russian involvement with both?

Rebekah: Because there are only four talking points about guns and none of them deal with real gun problems. I’ve been tangentially involved in gun safety since Sandy Hook and I believe most politicians get it wrong.  We need to deal with handgun safety, not assault weapons because most gun deaths are handgun deaths.

Elizabeth Warren

Kevin: This is how well Liz did: I am not for M4A but tonight she came close to selling me on it.

DJ: The first democrat to defend a gun owner tonight was Warren. I hope Vegas didn’t have odds on that ’cause it would have paid out big.

Kevin’s Final Rankings for the Night:

  1. Warren
  2. Castro
  3. DeBlasio
  4. Booker
  5. Klobuchar
  6. Inslee
  7. Ryan
  8. Gabbard
  9. Delaney
  10. O’Rourke

 

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